Sadder than sad...

You know how in movies, the girl returns to the boy everything the boy gave to her when hey break up? Well, I did the same and I accidentally left this shirt behind because it was still in the laundry.

Long story..
Today everything was okay. One morning, I wake up and BOOM! what happened?

It was Monday afternoon when a girl came up to me and told me they've been flirting with each other, my boyfriend and her, for a couple of days already. I thanked the girl for her guts of telling me and asking for forgiveness. Of course I asked him (lets call him "Meow") if it was true. Yep, I called Meow and he confirmed it is but also said he was lying when he was saying it to the girl.
Of course I'd still be mad and of course I'd break up with him even though we had three long years together. And besides, he has done it more than twice, thrice, and so on. What'd he expect? Forgiveness and trust comes falling from the sky???
He didn't make an effort of asking for forgiveness. He was even mad at me! So I told him never to call me nor answer my calls (at times I get mix feelings and start calling him) so I told him stuff, stuff like "Im going ti block you in everything" and "Don't even come near my house" and more stuff like that. I didn't want anything to do with us anymore because he didn't want anymore, so why make an effort for someone who doesn't love you the way you deserve? Then I got rid of all the stuff he gave me and placed in a back pack. I went straight to his house, got wet by the rain, knocked on his door, gave him the bag and you know what he said? "Ha? Madami na gamit sa bahay, dagdag kalat lang to. Hindi na kasya" (Translate: Ha? There are so many things at home already, It's just gonna add to the clutter. It's not going to fit here anymore." I didn't respond and I just left while he kept on nagging for me to take it back... sorth of? i didn't bother listening to his complains.
I couldn't cry anywhere. My friends were all out eventhough it was monday. I recently lost a best friend too (but were okay now, July26) and I didn't want my family to know what happened yet so I cried at the jeepney on my way home. I bowed my head and leaned on my back pack placed on my lap and I quietly cried my air-of-pain out. I couldn't squeal even if i wanted to, it'll be too much of pain sp i just delivered exhales while crying and constantly wiping my tears secretly. I went down the jeep as soon as it reached V.Cruz, I was walking home already and wished it was raining so that I could cry in the rain while walking and no one would notice so easily that I was. I worked before so.
The wound is still fresh and i prefer not talking about my feelings with my friends because they have problems of there own and I didn't want them to worry about me anymore even though they kept asking me to tell them anyways.
And Wednesday came. I was at home early advancing on my studies when my mom noticed at the left side of my neck was swelling. She asked me to go home early the next day and go see a doctor to have it checked. I'm suppose to have my 1st therapy session at pain and rehab tonight but it started raining hard. even though my aunt has a car for us to use, I didn't bother anymore. So now I'm still stress over this love thingy-majig, neck thing, and my up coming mid-terms.

TALK TO YOU CHEEZERS SOON! <3

Who to be? And when to be?

Stress! Stress! Stress! Yep yep you could surely say it again, stress!

I had such hell of a week after having to deal with problems, problems and guess what? more piles of problems. It all started a long time ago when I was born, kidding, started last April when my used-to-be best friend had her problems and then involved me in some big ways followed by my financial problems and then later on followed by my partner and then of course theres school. So you could say that my world is crumblin with stress.

In this picture, well it's me working on my responsibility, inside my sanctuary, of course. My sister took the photo because she said I look like I needed a time-off to earth and maybe jump to the moon for a lighter break, whatever that means. It was really just over flowing of problems that's greeting me but you know? As those problems come and go, the lessons thought is remarkable.

It opened a door for me to meet new friends, new people really or people who were there but I really didn't give value to and there's new places, hobbies, and food that Im not even allowed to eat but I did. And places I didn't dare go to but I still did. With the lessons giving more maturity in me, I'm starting to live some people with the old me behind. What do I do now? :(